evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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