we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
