and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
