i just google imaged poop.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
