You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm too high and old for this...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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