just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
