we're blogging at a bar
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
