She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
