You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
