There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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