My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
