so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
