Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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