Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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