he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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