That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
