She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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