This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
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