There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
