Where is the hickey?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
