Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
