I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
