In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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