What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
