last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
its liver damage thursday
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
