I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
