we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
