either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
