Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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