It's like God shit irony all over that family
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
