when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
