dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
