i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Couch. On fire.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
