Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
