No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
