Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
