two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just forgot I was standing up.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
