i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
