I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It's just like the Real World with babies
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
