nut hugger
She is in my trunk
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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