I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
