Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
