you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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