I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
