I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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