is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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