Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
