There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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