i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
