so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
