Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
