are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
