when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
